Monday, April 28, 2008
Legacy
For the past few weeks, I've had this old guy come into my office. The first time he came in he stayed for nearly forty-five minutes talking to us about completely random things, like smoking and how the landscaping trade has changed over the years. He was a nice old man, but I had a lot of work to do so I kind of tuned him out while I worked, answering him every now and then so as not to seem rude. After he left, my boss told me he has been coming in for years, and has always been very talkative.
He came in a few more times to adjust his order, or to pick up some supplies, and every time he dealt with me. I'm ashamed to admit that this bothered me at first, as I do have quite a bit of work to do and I don't really have time to stop and chat for half an hour most days. However, the last time he came in I was already having an awful day. This time, instead of feigning interest in whatever he was saying, I decided to take the time to really listen to him. We went outside and loaded up his ute with a couple hundred pavers (by hand, because the knuckleheads at the manufacturing plant loaded his pavers onto the same pallet as our stock, meaning I couldn't simply use the forklift to put them on his ute) and I listened to him. He started telling me how he'd been researching his family tree and heritage, and over years had traced his name back as far as 1,000 years. He came into contact with some of the people who shared his name, most of whom were only too happy to pass on whatever information they had.
It got me thinking about my own name, and the history that goes with it. My background is hard to trace, as it covers quite a few nationalities, but it must be possible. The thought of linking the Mallows name back to its roots excites me. I have no idea where it began, or how far back it goes, but I'd like to find out. I also have no idea how to go about achieving this task, but if I'm able to do it, it'd be a great gift to pass down to my children.
Saturday, April 26, 2008
The Mallows Complex
Ever wake up and feel like the world would be a better place, if only you were in control? Well, I do, pretty much every day. Here are just a few problems I'd like to have fixed by the time I build Daletopia. If you're not interested in the opinion of some narcissistic bastard who thinks he's the authority on the world because his mommy didn't hug him enough as a child, or because he's really bored and can't think of anything better to do with his time, please stop reading now.
Skinny jeans
I know trends are usually fickle, and by the time anyone has time to write anything about it, people have moved onto some other asinine way to stand out, but the trend of guys wearing girls jeans seems to have actually taken off. Nevermind the fact that by putting on your sisters jeans in the morning you're technically cross-dressing, but you also look completely rediclious. I think I actually preferred it when guys were wearing pants way too big and half way down their asses.
I'd recommend picking up a pair of mens designer jeans. You can get slim fit jeans, only they have more room in the crotch and waist than your girlfriends. And, you know, they're mens jeans.
Super Hero movies
I used to read comics when I was a young lad. I spent my time going on adventures with Spider-Man, the Hulk, the X-Men, etc. Then I discovered girls, but that's a whole other story for another blog. The point is I grew up with these stories. In recent years, Hollywood seems to have discovered these comics I read as a child and decided the time was ripe to bring them all to the big screen, after a number of failed attempts back in the eighties (aside from the Batman series, which was killed in a collective effort by Hollywood producers and George Cloony). Suddenly all my heroes have returned, but something seems off...
Okay, I was excited when X-Men and Spider-Man turned out to be a fairly decent movies, despite the Green Goblins costume. The sequel to Spider-Man was even better, and Batman Begins is probably the coolest comic book movie yet. However, here is a list of movies that made me cry for all the wrong reasons: The Fantastic Four, The Fantastic Four; Rise of the Silver Surfer, X-Men 3, Superman Returns, Hulk, Daredevil, Elektra...need I go on? Because I could, sadly enough.
Ironman, it's all up to you to save our faith in comic book films.
Censorship
I recently started watching repeats of Friends, as I did at one stage enjoy the cheap and predictable laughs the show provided me in my younger years. So I sit down with a coffee and flick on the television. At first, everything seems fine. Then I realize the studio laughter is roaring, and I didn't even hear a joke. I figured maybe I'd missed it, but it happened again and again, like my brain was somehow skipping the punchlines. Was I going crazy? No, they network just decided that they'd cut out anything that vaguely referenced sex.
The only solution I can think of is everyone in Melbourne buying Friends on DVD and playing the episode Chanel Ten are supposed to be playing at the same time. The only flaw I can foresee is I don't know a single person who'd pay good money to buy an outdated TV sitcom, let alone an entire city.
Internet Bloggers
From reporting their shitty taste in music and movies as fact to talking shit about things not even their therapists are paid enough to put up with, these bottom feeders of society are bringing down the universal IQ with their drivel. While you may occasionally find someones opinion or life worth reading about (links to some of these gems are listed on this page), the vast majority are pointless and are a total waste of your time. Yes, I am quite aware of the hypocrisy of this. I'm fighting fire with fire!
I say we close down the Internet. Let's see if people are as willing to write down every thought that randomly pops into their head when there is nobody around to read their crudely carved cave drawings.
Skinny jeans
I know trends are usually fickle, and by the time anyone has time to write anything about it, people have moved onto some other asinine way to stand out, but the trend of guys wearing girls jeans seems to have actually taken off. Nevermind the fact that by putting on your sisters jeans in the morning you're technically cross-dressing, but you also look completely rediclious. I think I actually preferred it when guys were wearing pants way too big and half way down their asses.
I'd recommend picking up a pair of mens designer jeans. You can get slim fit jeans, only they have more room in the crotch and waist than your girlfriends. And, you know, they're mens jeans.
Super Hero movies
I used to read comics when I was a young lad. I spent my time going on adventures with Spider-Man, the Hulk, the X-Men, etc. Then I discovered girls, but that's a whole other story for another blog. The point is I grew up with these stories. In recent years, Hollywood seems to have discovered these comics I read as a child and decided the time was ripe to bring them all to the big screen, after a number of failed attempts back in the eighties (aside from the Batman series, which was killed in a collective effort by Hollywood producers and George Cloony). Suddenly all my heroes have returned, but something seems off...
Okay, I was excited when X-Men and Spider-Man turned out to be a fairly decent movies, despite the Green Goblins costume. The sequel to Spider-Man was even better, and Batman Begins is probably the coolest comic book movie yet. However, here is a list of movies that made me cry for all the wrong reasons: The Fantastic Four, The Fantastic Four; Rise of the Silver Surfer, X-Men 3, Superman Returns, Hulk, Daredevil, Elektra...need I go on? Because I could, sadly enough.
Ironman, it's all up to you to save our faith in comic book films.
Censorship
I recently started watching repeats of Friends, as I did at one stage enjoy the cheap and predictable laughs the show provided me in my younger years. So I sit down with a coffee and flick on the television. At first, everything seems fine. Then I realize the studio laughter is roaring, and I didn't even hear a joke. I figured maybe I'd missed it, but it happened again and again, like my brain was somehow skipping the punchlines. Was I going crazy? No, they network just decided that they'd cut out anything that vaguely referenced sex.
The only solution I can think of is everyone in Melbourne buying Friends on DVD and playing the episode Chanel Ten are supposed to be playing at the same time. The only flaw I can foresee is I don't know a single person who'd pay good money to buy an outdated TV sitcom, let alone an entire city.
Internet Bloggers
From reporting their shitty taste in music and movies as fact to talking shit about things not even their therapists are paid enough to put up with, these bottom feeders of society are bringing down the universal IQ with their drivel. While you may occasionally find someones opinion or life worth reading about (links to some of these gems are listed on this page), the vast majority are pointless and are a total waste of your time. Yes, I am quite aware of the hypocrisy of this. I'm fighting fire with fire!
I say we close down the Internet. Let's see if people are as willing to write down every thought that randomly pops into their head when there is nobody around to read their crudely carved cave drawings.
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
HIMYM
Every time I hear the song Hey Beautiful by The Solids (the opening theme for How I Met Your Mother) it makes me think of all the times I stayed up literately all night watching the shows first season on DVD, over and over again. I don't think any TV show has made me laugh and cry as much as How I Met Your Mother. (Except maybe Buffy).
Still, I'm disappointed with the season two DVD set. Not a single special feature for the PAL region. Pure laziness on the part of the studio who releases them. Yeah, I still bought it. But doesn't mean I'm happy about it.
The show, however, remains consistent. I can honestly say that after watching every episode of the first season at least five times, I still laugh out loud often. For me, it's one of those rare shows that I can watch from now until eternity and never get sick of it. Ted, Robin, Marshall, Lily and Barney are friends to me (just check out my friends list on myspace). Please watch this show if you haven't seen it, and if you have and you like it, buy the DVD.
The song is awesome, too.
Still, I'm disappointed with the season two DVD set. Not a single special feature for the PAL region. Pure laziness on the part of the studio who releases them. Yeah, I still bought it. But doesn't mean I'm happy about it.
The show, however, remains consistent. I can honestly say that after watching every episode of the first season at least five times, I still laugh out loud often. For me, it's one of those rare shows that I can watch from now until eternity and never get sick of it. Ted, Robin, Marshall, Lily and Barney are friends to me (just check out my friends list on myspace). Please watch this show if you haven't seen it, and if you have and you like it, buy the DVD.
The song is awesome, too.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
The Twelve Hundred Dollar Slap
This video sums up my Sunday night.
DJ, the slapper, won approximately $1000 in a poker game at Crown Casino in what I can only assume was a bid to prove me wrong about the game. I’ve always felt poker, and any other game where there is a good chance you’re going to loose money, is a complete and utter waste of time. If I really wanted to get rid of some money, I’d throw it off the bridge overlooking the freeway.
Nonetheless, DJ showed us that at the very least he’s a talented poker player, although if his aim was to prove to me that poker isn’t gambling (one of his many wild claims, though admittedly one of his most foolish) he actually did the opposite, as whoever he was playing against obviously lost money, therefore proving my point which never should have needed explaining in the first place.
He did take Maz (the slapie) and I out for an expensive dinner to celebrate his win though, which was exceedingly generous (and elevated him from Goose status). This status was almost immediately restored when he made a fool of himself and made an enemy for life with our waiter by implying he brought out the wrong drink (he hadn’t).
In other news; I was nearly the owner of an immaculate condition V8AU Ford Fairlane Ghia. Unfortunately my definition of the word immaculate differed greatly from the seller. I learned two things from the experience, 1. used car salesmen are as shifty as the stereotype implies, and 2. when something seems too good to be true, you can be damn sure it is.
Peace,
Daze
DJ, the slapper, won approximately $1000 in a poker game at Crown Casino in what I can only assume was a bid to prove me wrong about the game. I’ve always felt poker, and any other game where there is a good chance you’re going to loose money, is a complete and utter waste of time. If I really wanted to get rid of some money, I’d throw it off the bridge overlooking the freeway.
Nonetheless, DJ showed us that at the very least he’s a talented poker player, although if his aim was to prove to me that poker isn’t gambling (one of his many wild claims, though admittedly one of his most foolish) he actually did the opposite, as whoever he was playing against obviously lost money, therefore proving my point which never should have needed explaining in the first place.
He did take Maz (the slapie) and I out for an expensive dinner to celebrate his win though, which was exceedingly generous (and elevated him from Goose status). This status was almost immediately restored when he made a fool of himself and made an enemy for life with our waiter by implying he brought out the wrong drink (he hadn’t).
In other news; I was nearly the owner of an immaculate condition V8AU Ford Fairlane Ghia. Unfortunately my definition of the word immaculate differed greatly from the seller. I learned two things from the experience, 1. used car salesmen are as shifty as the stereotype implies, and 2. when something seems too good to be true, you can be damn sure it is.
Peace,
Daze
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
