Facebook and Twitter are making me lazy

Before status updates and microblogs, I used to write detailed blogs about the simplest of things. Some might say too detailed, but to those people I say kindly fuck yourself. I wrote blogs pages long about my adventures on the weekend with my friends, theories about anything that sprung to mind and even rambled about random things that encapsulated my mood at the time. It was fun for me because I got to write about my favorite subject; me, and fun for my few readers because I served as a scribe for our adventures.

Things have changed. I've found that I can squeeze an entire weekend into a one hundred and forty character description on Twitter. Why bother sitting here for hours writing about my life when I can use one witty remark to capture an entire experience. All those years of writing haiku seems to have given me a talent for putting more information into as little words as possible. I find the trick is to leave it open to interpretation, but not to the point where it's cryptic. People don't like cryptic messages. Well, I don't, anyway.

As for my blogs based on my mood, such as my long winded rant about how lives are decided by quantum physics which was inspired by an afternoon of listening to Nine Inch Nails and reading The Selfish Gene, they're almost non-existent now that I can elude to how happy, depressed or awesome I am by using Facebook's status updates. There is no character restriction that I'm aware of, but the general idea is to keep it short and sweet. Cryptic messages are even worse on Facebook because you do have the extra space to explain yourself, but they seem to be far more common too. Advice; if you try to sound mysterious, you'll most likely end up sounding like a tool.

There is also the fact that my status updates generally get a lot more readers and therefore comments than my blogs ever did. Being the narcissistic attention whore that I am, ten comments from random people I went to high school with gives me more elation than one or two comments from good friends. I can’t help it; I feed on comments and kudos like a celebrity feeds on publicity. I feel like a sellout, like an actor who couldn't find an audience in his indie films and took a role in a Hollywood blockbuster as a result, sacrificing integrity for fame.

I think I'll go update my Twitter, now.

Campaign Propaganda

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I used to view the world vs. the way I view the world today, and the one thing that I think has changed the most is my tolerance for understanding and reason. When I look at the world and its many troubles, I used to think the easiest way to fix them would be to come to an understanding or a compromise. I figured that since I’m personally a pretty lenient person that, deep down, everyone would have the capacity for mercy and logic.

Now all I can think is that I give humanity too much clemency. It’s hard to believe that the human race has actually evolved when there are thousands of people killing and dying over a sacred wall. People have actually, in recent times, killed in the name of one God or another. Not to mention the general stupidity of the human race pissing in the shallow end of the gene pool (such as the insistence to actually hinder natural selection by putting labels like ‘Do not spray in eyes’ on a can of deodorant or ‘Do not attempt to swallow’ on a mattress).

Drug users who take up our precious medical resources when they OD on the side of the street in the CDB should have to take their actions into account for a change. Gambling addicts who try to sue a casino because they gambled all their money away should have their cases thrown out immediately. Sex offenders should be on a public register and under-age sex offenders should be stripped of any human rights given to a person at birth.

If people are going to fight like a bunch of little girls over a piece of wall, I say we blow it up completely. Let’s unite the world, not by sitting around waiting for things to settle down, but with an iron fist. Look at all the comic books you might have read as a kid; the superheroes fight endlessly for justice and peace but nothing ever changes. Did you ever stop and wonder what it would be like if Lex Luthor did take over the world? I say we need a super villain to take the reins and actually make something happen. Enough pissing around, let’s get planet Earth into shape and make of it a planet to be feared!

Vote Dale Mallows for Leader of the World in 2012.
“He’d vote for you!”