Is Australia really a nation of racists?

The short answer is no.

The long answer is the following;

We may not be as sensitive to some cultural differences, sure, but to be condemned as racists as an entire nation over a silly skit on a variety show is a pretty damn big call. A few guys (the frontman being Indian, no less) paint their faces black and we're called a 'backwards, racist' country. Now correct me if I'm wrong but we never had ethnic cleansing like in Africa, wars bred from religious intolerance like in the Middle East, and I'm pretty sure there is nobody walking around in white hoods setting fire to crosses in peoples front yards.

We also don't abuse and spit on black sportsmen like they are known to do in Spain, Italy and Norway.

I'd say, as a country, we're pretty respectful of other peoples backrounds. You want proof? Look at the thriving Vietnamese, Italian and Greek communities. We don't tolerate other cultures, we embrace them.

I can see how the skit on Hey Hey could have been seen as racist to an American audience, since it's a much more sensitive issue there. But here's the thing; it wasn't aired in America! Harry Connick Jr may well have been offended, being an American, but to demand an apology for a very light-hearted form of entertainment, which I might add didn't poke fun at black people or the Jackson family, that's the outrage.

I like Harry Connick Jr, and anybody who knows me knows that I love America. Having said that, they ought keep their opinions to themselves. Yes, I'm talking to you Bill O'Riley you capitalist piece of shit. And Harry, being American doesn't mean you're superior to us backwards outback folk. We have a very different attitude here than you do at home, we're laid-back, 'live and let live' types out here. That might seem backwards to you, but to us it's a very nice way to get by. You want to start comparing our countries and see how flawed your system and way of life really is, America? You all have guns, but not healthcare. Who's the backwards country again?

We're all zombies (and not the cool kind)

I read a study today that said we will, on average, spend 3,188 hours starting at one kind of electrified screen or another such as television, computer, cell phone, GPS, computer games and other assorted shiny, attention grabbing things. We’ll also spend around 365 hours of commercial viewing per year through television alone. That’s on top of all the pop-up and on-site advertising on the Internet sites like Google and Facebook.

So is all this advertising turning us into mindless zombies? The fact is you’re taking in information when you watch television or surf the internet. Not that the information is, strictly speaking, of any importance, but our brains are still being engaged in a very basic way. So while you sit there and watch hour upon hour of Family Guy or playing Farmville you may feel like you’re filling in your time. And maybe you are, who am I to argue? But from the outside looking in, all you're doing is sitting in front of a screen, slack-jawed and dead-eyed.

But from where I’m sitting, it’s really rather depressing that so much of our lives is taken up by the most inane of activities when there are so many other things we could be doing. We are living in the most enlightened and progressive time this planet has ever known, a time where we can look, dress and behave however we like. We have access to public transport that can take us pretty much anywhere we want to go (if we can stand waiting around for 45 minutes for a train to arrive), not to mention cars.

So rather than take in what our surroundings have to offer, what do we do? We sit around and watch TV, or spend hours accomplishing nothing on the internet. And that’s only when we’re not working which takes up a much larger chunk of our lives than it rightfully should. And on weekends, in between our zombie-like intake of the media and our slavery to the wage; we drink, celebrating the fact that we have two nights of freedom from our own lives. Or we drink to ignore the fact that our freedom is so short-lived as to be laughable. Or we just sit at home, in front of our televisions and computers and waste our lives away on digital waves of light.

I think I’ll go and update my Facebook status now.

Facebook and Twitter are making me lazy

Before status updates and microblogs, I used to write detailed blogs about the simplest of things. Some might say too detailed, but to those people I say kindly fuck yourself. I wrote blogs pages long about my adventures on the weekend with my friends, theories about anything that sprung to mind and even rambled about random things that encapsulated my mood at the time. It was fun for me because I got to write about my favorite subject; me, and fun for my few readers because I served as a scribe for our adventures.

Things have changed. I've found that I can squeeze an entire weekend into a one hundred and forty character description on Twitter. Why bother sitting here for hours writing about my life when I can use one witty remark to capture an entire experience. All those years of writing haiku seems to have given me a talent for putting more information into as little words as possible. I find the trick is to leave it open to interpretation, but not to the point where it's cryptic. People don't like cryptic messages. Well, I don't, anyway.

As for my blogs based on my mood, such as my long winded rant about how lives are decided by quantum physics which was inspired by an afternoon of listening to Nine Inch Nails and reading The Selfish Gene, they're almost non-existent now that I can elude to how happy, depressed or awesome I am by using Facebook's status updates. There is no character restriction that I'm aware of, but the general idea is to keep it short and sweet. Cryptic messages are even worse on Facebook because you do have the extra space to explain yourself, but they seem to be far more common too. Advice; if you try to sound mysterious, you'll most likely end up sounding like a tool.

There is also the fact that my status updates generally get a lot more readers and therefore comments than my blogs ever did. Being the narcissistic attention whore that I am, ten comments from random people I went to high school with gives me more elation than one or two comments from good friends. I can’t help it; I feed on comments and kudos like a celebrity feeds on publicity. I feel like a sellout, like an actor who couldn't find an audience in his indie films and took a role in a Hollywood blockbuster as a result, sacrificing integrity for fame.

I think I'll go update my Twitter, now.

Campaign Propaganda

I’ve been thinking a lot about how I used to view the world vs. the way I view the world today, and the one thing that I think has changed the most is my tolerance for understanding and reason. When I look at the world and its many troubles, I used to think the easiest way to fix them would be to come to an understanding or a compromise. I figured that since I’m personally a pretty lenient person that, deep down, everyone would have the capacity for mercy and logic.

Now all I can think is that I give humanity too much clemency. It’s hard to believe that the human race has actually evolved when there are thousands of people killing and dying over a sacred wall. People have actually, in recent times, killed in the name of one God or another. Not to mention the general stupidity of the human race pissing in the shallow end of the gene pool (such as the insistence to actually hinder natural selection by putting labels like ‘Do not spray in eyes’ on a can of deodorant or ‘Do not attempt to swallow’ on a mattress).

Drug users who take up our precious medical resources when they OD on the side of the street in the CDB should have to take their actions into account for a change. Gambling addicts who try to sue a casino because they gambled all their money away should have their cases thrown out immediately. Sex offenders should be on a public register and under-age sex offenders should be stripped of any human rights given to a person at birth.

If people are going to fight like a bunch of little girls over a piece of wall, I say we blow it up completely. Let’s unite the world, not by sitting around waiting for things to settle down, but with an iron fist. Look at all the comic books you might have read as a kid; the superheroes fight endlessly for justice and peace but nothing ever changes. Did you ever stop and wonder what it would be like if Lex Luthor did take over the world? I say we need a super villain to take the reins and actually make something happen. Enough pissing around, let’s get planet Earth into shape and make of it a planet to be feared!

Vote Dale Mallows for Leader of the World in 2012.
“He’d vote for you!”

My 10 Favorite Songs

As Triple J recently did their Top 100 of all time, I've decided that the time is right for me to list my own favorite songs. Only I really can't be buggered with 100, so I'm going to round it down to 10. There are in no particular order.

Freak - Silverchair
Silverchair are my favorite band and as such I could fill half this list with their songs. I am however going to restrain myself and pick only one, and I've gone with Freak because every single time I hear it I feel like smashing stuff, just like I did when I first heard it. There is just so much energy in this song.

Tonight, Tonight - Smashing Pumpkins
Best Pumpkins song, hands down. The drums, lyrics, even the video are all classic.

New Slang - The Shins
Like Silverchair, I could fill the other half of this list with songs by this band. I've gone with New Slang (narrowly kicking out Australia and Turn On Me) because it was the first song I heard by this band. Like most people I heard it for the first time watching Garden State, which incidentally is my favorite movie.

Kashmir - Led Zeppelin
One of, if not, Led Zeppelins most well known songs, the guitar work in this mingled with the Middle Eastern style musical influences make it one of the coolest songs ever written.

Stay Together For The Kids - Blink 182
This song marked the move into more mature music for Blink, and in my opinion is the best track they ever recorded. The lyrics are much deeper than you'd expect from a band that previously wrote a song about fucking a dog in the ass.

Heart-Shaped Box - Nirvana
This song always seemed the embodiment of Kirt Cobains depression and frustration, and I remember being a teenager and really relating to this song.

Back In Black - Ac/DC
Best Australian song ever. 'Nuff said.

Every You Every Me- Placebo
I remember the first time I heard this song and thinking it sounded like nothing I'd ever heard before. Pure Morning was the first song I heard by this band, but this song was the one that got me hooked.

Right Where It Belongs - Nine Inch Nails
One of the few NIN songs that isn't aggressive or angry, this song has such a quiet quality to it that it's shocking to hear the first time. Many nights staying up in my VCE years were spent listening to this song.

Zombie - The Cranberries
This song has such an original sound to it, and the first time I heard it (as a young child) I was intrigued. Every time I hear it I think of my late Aunt, because she was the one who explained the lyrics to me.

Honorable mentions:
Friday I'm In Love - The Cure
Ziggy Stardust - David Bowie
No Rain - Blind Melon
Paranoid - Black Sabbath
Resurrection - PPK
Hurt- Johnny Cash
Hero of the Day - Metallica (with the symphony orchestra)
All I Want - The Offspring
Imaginary - Evanesence
Can't Stop - Red Hot Chili Peppers

Late night rambling on insurance

Having been in four accidents, I'm the first person to call you a dick for not seeing the benefit of car insurance. In some countries it's illegal to drive without insurance, but I don't think it is in Australia and I can't be buggered looking it up. Personally I don't think it should be a legal matter in much the same way I don't believe it should be compulsory to vote, despite the fact that being forced to vote (or at the very least show up and have our named checked off) is probably one of the things that makes us one of the better countries on this planet.

So while I don't think anyone should be forced into having car insurance, I'm also of the belief that if you don't have insurance you deserve whatever you get if you find yourself in an accident, and a foot up the arse to boot. I've heard people say, in defense of not having insurance, that they don't need it because they're good drivers, but everyone knows that 80% of the others drivers you're sharing the road with aren't so talented behind the wheel. Also, you're probably not as good as you think you are.

The other thing that gets people in a huff, people I know anyway, is the cost. I agree that car insurance is a bit of a rip-off. You pay for something every year that you're probably confident won't even be an issue. That's the thing about buying insurance, hospital cover or any other incorporeal purchase; people find it difficult to justify spending a large amount of money on something that they not only can't see or hold, but are actively hoping they won't need. I hope the thought that you saved a few hundred dollars over the years consoles you when you hit that shiny BMW and you feel your life crumbling around you, much like the ruins of your car.

Personally, I have full comprehensive insurance. I'd be a fool not to, some might say, having been in so many accidents. On the other hand, the odds that I'll be in another accident after already having been in four are pretty slim. So why do I continue to pay out hundreds of dollars every year? I'm not a gambler, I hate spending money unless it's on something I can physically hold, I'm a much more careful driver now than I have been in the past, and at the very least less likely to cause an accident.

So is the $600 a year worth it? You better fucking believe it, pal. And for anyone who doesn't want to spend the big bucks on their own car, have some respect for your fellow drivers and get third party insurance at the very least.

A few more words on dead Michael Jackson

He was an exceptional dancer, and a fantastic singer. I hear he was quite good at molesting children, too.

A few words on Michael Jackson

He might have been a scary looking guy, but damn, he was a good dancer.

See, I told you it was only a few words.

A Guide to Surviving Professional Salespeople

Human beings are very susceptible to suggestion. At least they are when they cease being human beings and become their far less intelligent and slightly less attractive counterparts; customers. Having worked in sales in some form or other for the past five years, though not a veteran by any means, I’ve still seen some pretty sad stuff that makes me wonder about the state of our astuteness as a race. With that in mind, I’m going to give you a quick run though of sales people and their twisted games designed to get you to give them your money.

The greeting
A salesperson will greet each person differently based on age, ethnicity, and marital status. Younger people will most likely hear ‘What’s up?’ whereas older folk might hear something more like ‘How may I help you?’ If you’re Australian you’ll most likely be referred to as ‘mate’, otherwise you’ll be called ‘sir’. If you tell a salesperson your name, he or she will overuse it in an attempt to subconsciously get you to view them as a friend. Which leads me to;

We’re not your friend
The best salespeople will have you convinced that he or she is your best friend. The conversation, jokes, anecdotes; all scripted responses. Not scripted in terms of an actual script, but all salespeople have a routine, and while they ad lib quite often, the basic story behind everything you hear is part of the sales pitch. If a cute girl working in sales smiles at you, she probably isn’t flirting.

We’re liars
Don’t believe a word a salesperson says. How many times have you heard a salesperson say “Oh yeah, I have that model at home myself.” They don’t, 90% of the time. Don’t bother trying to catch them out though, they are committed to the lie and will most likely have an entire back story to go with it.

Pricing
A retail store always has room to move on their prices. Always. This is especially true for more expensive items, televisions, stereos, etc. If a salesperson tells you that the price on the tag is the best he or she can do, they’re two-faced liars. The best way to get a good price is to show interest, so they know you’re serious, but also make it obvious that if they don’t budge on the price you’ll walk out the door. You can save some serious moolah and impress your friends with your hardcore shopping skills.

Asking for the sale
After you’ve spent a while with a salesperson, the conversation will inevitably lead to them wanting your money in exchange for whatever goods or services they’re offering. This is the part where they have given up hope that you’re the kind of person who’ll just say ‘You’ve convinced me, sold!’ They’re relying on your kind nature to buy from them, because people feel guilty after spending so much time with a salesperson and not buying anything from them.

So remember, when shopping, always be on your guard. Unless you’re buying something from me. I’ll take care of you, mate.

Driving: a risk I'm willing to take

Many of the people I know have been in a car accident. Most of those people were the cause of their accident through a simple mistake, neglect, stupidity or all of the above. Me? I’ve been in four accidents. Now before you start waving your pitchforks and demand I turn in my license let me make one thing abundantly clear; three of the four accidents I’ve been involved with were caused by the other driver. Let’s go through them in order of appearance.

1. I was turning into my then girlfriend’s driveway, which happens to be on a main road. I indicated and slowed down to turn; the lady in the 4WD behind me wasn’t paying attention and ran straight into me. She admitted fault without argument.

2. I was on my way out of the car park at work heading for a main road. I was heading straight, the driver coming out of a different car park thought he had right of way (he didn’t, this was verified) and ran into the side of my car. Driver initially denied being at fault but relented when our insurance companies informed him of his mistake. I’d also like to point out he was a wanker.

3. I wasn’t paying attention and was in a hurry. Without looking properly I accelerated right into the back of a 4WD. Completely my fault, sever damage to my car as a result (although not enough for it to be considered a write-off). I think she may have claimed some kind of neck pain to the insurance people but I presume that was a rort. Not my concern, anyway.

4. Heading through an intersection through a green light. The gentleman to my left drove out directly in front of me because he was confused by the bus light. I had to explain that even if the light is in the shape of a B instead of the usual circle, you still have to stop if it’s red. I tried to break but it was raining so my car slid into his. He complained about how he’d come from miles away to get cheap petrol, I had to stop myself from pointing out the fact that I really couldn’t care less about his problems since he’d just CAUSED ME TO CRASH MY FUCKING CAR.

That is my record for the past five years. I’ve had more accidents than my parents (though my dad has run into a letterbox and a tree which, when you think about it, is pretty bad because they’re completely stationary). Anyone who has been in a car with me knows I’m not the safest driver in the world; I tend to speed, cross lanes randomly, and generally fuck around. The irony of this is that every accident I have been in I was doing the speed limit and driving safely.

What annoys me about this current accident isn’t the damage to my car or the general inconvenience of it. The thing that really pisses me off is that people are going to assume that I can’t drive, and the fact is it’s bloody hard to argue against the facts. In black and white, I’m a terrible driver. Four accidents. Granted I’ve never had a speeding ticket or any other driving violation (okay, that’s a lie, I did get a ticket for talking on the phone while driving once which was stupid because I was talking to my then girlfriend while I was about five minutes from her house at the time) but the figures are still against me. I have to constantly explain that I wasn’t the cause of three of them, which is a pain in the ass to be honest.

The other thing that is getting under my skin is the possibility that maybe everyone else is right; maybe I am a bad driver. I’m twenty-three and I’ve been in four car crashes, nobody else I know has been in more than one. Maybe there was ways to avoid these accidents that I just wasn’t quick enough to act on at the time. I could have been paying attention and looked in my rear view mirror when I was hit from behind. But then I was still on a main road and if I’d violently turned off the road I would have crashed through a fence. I’m sitting here replaying every accident I’ve been in and trying to figure out if maybe I’m the one who fucked up every time, but I can’t think of any way I could have seen them coming.

I’ve been known to be unfocused in other parts of life. Maybe I’m just not paying enough attention to the road. It can’t be possible that I’m just unlucky, although that would explain the record losses every time I try to gamble.

Putting aside my potentially dangerous driving for a moment, I have to say that my opinion of other drivers has dropped dramatically. The fact that I may have avoided some of the accident I’ve been in doesn’t excuse the fact that they were caused in the first place. The onus to avoid collusions shouldn’t rest entirely with me. I’d also like to point out that two of my accidents were caused by senior citizens (#2 and #4) which, if you recall, was a big concern of mine in a previous blog on the topic of driving. It might be hypocritical of me to start abusing other drivers considering my record, so rather than start sit here and bitch, I’ll paraphrase my own blog (previously posted here)

“We don't let teenagers drive unsupervised until they're eighteen, yet a senior citizen who can't see without coke-bottle glasses and the reflexes of a sloth on weed is fine.

How is it inappropriate to ask seniors to take a test every couple of years, anyway? I'm all for respecting our elders, but not at the expense of my own safety (and yeah, impatience). Old people can't see as well as the young, they're reflexes aren't as good, and let's face it, the road rules have changed since they were teenagers. This isn't news, our bodies degrade over the years. It's time to stop ignoring this and accepting it for what it is. Sure it's a hassle to book an exam and get down to the local Vic Roads to take the exam, but it's not like they're going to be too busy. They're mostly retired, and I'm sure they can take a day off from lawn bowls for a simple driving test. Give them a discount, or hell, make it free, but for the love of all that is decent in this motherfucking country, do something.”


I’d be happy to take a driving test myself. Who knows, it might save a life, or at the very least save my poor car from getting another quiltin’.

Finally, there are two positives I can think of to all if this. Firstly, after four accidents I’m in absolutely no financial trouble. Anyone who thinks insurance is a waste of money clearly sucks dick is mistaken. The second is the fact that after four accidents, the worse injury I’ve had is being slightly winded from the seatbelt in my latest crash. I’m working on the theory that I’m invincible. I’ll let you know how that works out. In the event of my sudden death I’d like to take this opportunity to tell you all that I'm actually a scientologist.

Jusqu'à la prochaine fois, mes amours,

Delaney Mállos

The Job Hunt: May - June 2009

My full time job was made redundant just over a month ago. My former place of employment, which shall henceforth be referred to as My Former Place of Employment, was forced to make some cuts for reasons best left untyped. Suffice to say I was given notice, a firm handshake and a pretty generous severance payout which has prevented me from having to turn tricks on the street corner again. Not being quite as clueless as I doubtless seem, I did in fact see it coming before it happened. Unfortunately seeing something coming and actively taking action as a result of it are two very different things.

Had I been prepared, I would have taken the time to look for another job or at least scanned the papers to see what kind of work was going around. As it happened, I didn’t do either of those things and when I found myself unemployed and without any prospects for the first time in years, I was completely ignorant of the current employment situation. For three weeks I applied for jobs every day, from small time casual work to managerial roles I’m not even qualified for. I’m an equal opportunist applier. I heard almost nothing back from any of the places I applied to in that time, which frankly surprised me since my resume paints me as a pretty impressive, well rounded individual.

A resume is, by default, supposed to talk you up and make you sound more remarkable than you probably are. Here are some of the features I pointed out about myself on my resume.

1. Five years of sales and customer service. (Exaggerated)
2. Two types of forklift license. (Factual)
3. Excellent computer knowledge. (Slightly exaggerated)
4. Ability to balance multiple priorities (False)
5. Very good communication and customer service skills (Factual, in my opinion)

I also included a list of duties I have performed in previous roles as long as my leg, and the majority of those are legit. I’ve heard feedback from my two previous employers that my cover letter was extremely well written, and my list of referees include co-workers, supervisors, managers and even a company director. If hiring was based purely on a person’s resume, I’d hire myself in a heartbeat. I’d probably end up firing myself in the end but that’s not really the point of this blog.

What surprised me was that I didn’t even hear back from some places. Alright, fair enough that I didn’t hear back from the office in Dandenong that required at least two years of managerial experience, but what about JB Hi-Fi? I applied to about five different roles in stores all over Melbourne and didn’t hear a single thing back. Same with Harvery Norman. I don’t want to sound too arrogant (oh, who am I kidding, I love sounding arrogant) but not only am I qualified for those jobs, they should have been happy to hear from someone as experienced as Yours Truly.

Now, before you read this and think I’m pissing and moaning because I can’t get a job, kindly blow me as I am currently employed and have been for a whole three days now.

No, what I’m bitching about is the fact that it took a full month to find a job. Personally, I blame the modern way of applying for jobs. Practically every job I applied for had to be done online, a system which is infinitely easier on employers but really takes away the human experience for the potential employee. When a job is applied for online, there is no give and take between the employer and the person applying for the job, no initial meeting.

I also have a chip on my shoulder because I found out that four of the emails I sent applying for positions at different offices didn’t go though and therefore possibly cost me gainful employment.

The bottom line is thus: being unemployed is fucked. Even though I have money I can’t justify spending it most of the time because I know it’s not going to be replenished in a week’s time, I’m almost constantly bored and within two days of not having job my sleep pattern was shot to hell. It’s currently 3am and I’m sitting on my computer bitching about the fact that I’m up at 3am.

One last thing, and this is the very same thing that royally pissed me off back when I was a brash young teenager looking for work purely because I wanted a car; if you say you’re going to get in touch with someone after they have sent in a resume, fucking do it. Even if it’s bad news, I’d very much appreciate a quick phone call saying “Thanks but we’re going with someone else.” It might be an awkward call to make, but it’ll sure as hell be beneficial for the poor bastard sitting on his couch in his underwear with a king size bowl of Fruit Loops watching Buffy on DVD for the 500th time.

In short, anyone I applied to in the last month who didn’t see fit to hire me or at least call me to let me know I wasn’t successful can go and screw themselves.

Firefly/Serenity rant

It's terrible when a TV show you love is canceled. I'm aware that there are in fact bigger problems in the world (recession, war, swine flu, etc) but this is my blog, so I'll talk about my own issues if you don't bloody well mind. The thing is, sometimes I get attached to things, and quite often they're taken away before their time. Buffy the Vampire Slayer is probably my favorite TV show, but it went for seven seasons and got to end on its own terms. Angel was rushed a bit, but still had a good run. The mastermind behind these shows, Joss Whedon, also made what I consider to be the best si-fi ever made, Firefly.

Firefly wasn't so lucky as it's older siblings, it was canceled before the first season was over. Every episode of this show is amazing (particularly Out Of Gas, Jaynestown and Objects In Space), and it's cancellation was a huge blow to the fans and apparently the cast and crew, too.

The upside is, thanks largely to fans and this thing called the in-ter-net Joss was able to have a movie follow-up made, giving the series an ending, and allowing it to go out with a bang rather than a silenced gunshot. I'm so grateful to whoever helped organize the marketing for Firefly/Serenity. I know it's over now, and has been for some years, but I'm one of those hopeless fans who still wants more. I'm awake Joss is doing Dollhouse (which I'd LOVE to watch but being in Australia and with cable TV, this isn't possible) and Nathan Fillion is doing Castle (which I quite enjoy so far), but it's just one of those shows you always want more of because you were given so little. In a way I know this is a good thing, because Firefly will never go stale or jump the shark, but you know...

Well, that's it. I just wanted to vent.

No Pickles

It's late. I always leave writing these things until it's late so that I rush it and make my posts short. In that spirit, I'll be writing this in bullet point form.

1. Lost job. Looking for new one now. Was made redundant, not fired. Not that either one is good.

2. Attempting to change life in dramatic way. Will talk about it more in this blog when things are more or less confirmed.

3. Haven't cut hair in a long time. It's getting quite unruly.

4. Saw the Wolverine movie, was better than expected. Deadpool was in it which was a plus, but they totally changed him, which wasn't so good. For those new here, Deadpool was my favorite comic book character as a kid.

5. Crashed car few weeks back. All better now. No fatalities, but my wallet took a fair quiltin'.

6. Been reading a lot. Latest victim is Neil Gaiman, great writer. Neverwhere was fantastic, American Gods is strange so far, but I like it regardless.

7. Is just a good number to finish on, and I have nothing further to add.

Thanks for reading.

Kind Regards,

Dale Mallows
Internet Blogger
BlogSpot, Internet

The Ugly Truth!

You remember that story about the ugly little duckling? The one who was small and unattractive then grew up to be a beautiful swan? I always assumed the moral of that particular story was one of hope for the outcasts in schools across Australia. "You may not be very impressive at the moment, son, but one day you'll grow up to be a magnificent swan!" they'd tell you. I was thinking about this today while driving a forklift, which doesn't really seem to mesh very well but there you have it. In fact I write most of my nonsense ramblings in my head while doing rather more practical things.

Consider the position of the ugly ducking/swan. He may have been an unsightly little creature who eventually grew to eclipse his brothers and sisters in beauty threefold, but the truth is he always was a swan. It was only through misunderstanding that he was mistaken for a duck in the first place. The mother duck assumed the egg was hers because it was sitting under her arse. Of course had the swan grown up with it's biological family, he still would have been beautiful, but possibly no more so than the rest of his siblings.

I can't help but think that he old nursery rhyme strengthens the concept that special people, weather they be pretty, smart or otherwise advantaged over the rest of us, are born and not made.

I'm alive

In case there is anyone out there who saw on the news about the fires all over Victoria and wondered if I was alive; yes, I am.

The closest fires were probably about a 20 min drive from where I live, though. Pretty freaky.

I'm not dead, though. Sorry for anyone who wishes otherwise. :D

Galore

Today if the final day of my vacation. Not that I'm complaining, I had a month off then got another week and a half off a few weeks later. It's been pretty relaxed in my life lately.

I've spent the day in my bathrobe (because I can!) mostly watching How I Met Your Mother on DVD. I love that show, it's so fantastic. I also read for a while. I'm reading Blood and Gold, part of the vampire chronicles by Anne Rice. I'm not even a huge fan of her writing or this book, but I read The Vampire Armand not too long ago and it put me into the mood to read more of her stuff.

I also take the time to read a few pages from a book I just purchased on eBay called Ten Imaginary Years, which is an biography of th first ten years of The Cure's career.

So that's it. Tomorrow I go back to work, which is probably a good thing because I'm running low on money, haha.

<3