Biting the hand that feeds

I've noticed in the past few weeks a resurgence in the whole 'life was better in simpler times' philosophy. People are always waxing poetic about how great it was when we wrote hand-written letters to each other, but I never hear anyone talking about how great it is that we live in this amazing age of information. I think people are looking back on those times with rose tinted glasses, the same way people talk about how great it was being a teenager. I don't know about you, but I found the pimples, high school and constant erections to be a pain in the ass. Honestly, before the advent of email, how many of you actually enjoyed writing a hand-written letter to someone? Then there is the whole issue of how long it takes to mail a letter, wondering weather your intended recipient actually got your letter or not, and let's not forget the fact that every fucking envelope had to have a bloody stamp on it.

No, I think I'll stick with email, thanks a bunch.

Then there is arguably the biggest technological advancement in society; mobile phones (possibly second only to the internet). I was a teenager when mobile phones became a must-have item for, well, everyone and honest to fucking God I have no idea how we operated before they came about. Meeting up with friends these days without a phone is damn nigh impossible. When my buddy DJ lost his phone, he was almost incommunicado (but managed to keep in touch via Facebook). You might be tempted to say “Well Dale, doesn't that show you just how dependant on technology we've become?” to which my reply would be, after I finished burying my Doc Marten into your cranium, “Who fucking cares?”

Yes, we are addicted to our phones, GPS's and the internet. And why the Hell shouldn't we be? They make life significantly easier, enable us to keep in contact with our friends and family almost anywhere on the planet, even keep us entertained. I heard (another) complaint about us 'young people' and our generation and how we never liked to be bored. We have our phones which double as mini computers complete with internet connectivity, games and even some that double as an MP3 player. How dare we!?

All you misunderstood souls who want to be punk rockers with flowers in your hair can blow me; I love being able to sit in bed with a laptop, talking to people all over the globe while listening to music I've illegally downloaded which I'll soon import to my iPhone, making the walk to the store tomorrow far more pleasurable than it otherwise would have been.

In conclusion; handwriting is obsolete, the digital world is real, and I fucked your mother.

Todo mi amor,

Dale Mallows